when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
So squirting runs in the family.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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