He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
