Your tits are I can't wait for
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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