I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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