I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
