Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
