I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Panties = found
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize