i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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