Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
