Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
