I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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