I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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