u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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