we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
