spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
