Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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