I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Boobs speak an international language.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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