just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
