i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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