Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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