Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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