Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
