I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize