Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
