You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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