Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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