guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
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