Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
