He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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