Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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