So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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