Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
