my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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