Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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