I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
