talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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