and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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