Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
