So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize