I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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