You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
