Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
