I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
