Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
