he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
