I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
