im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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