I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize