Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
my being single is dangerous.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize