3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
