please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
