is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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