Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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