it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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