I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
