need another drink. this is the easiest way
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
