Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP. http://tfl.nu/sbka
  Replies (14) Good night (980) Bad night (448) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?

  (325): View more from Texas

  Because you touch yourself at night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working? (325): Because you touch yourself at night. http://tfl.nu/lm5u
  Replies (14) Good night (2995) Bad night (713)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (434): I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach. http://tfl.nu/7n8a
  Replies (14) Good night (3960) Bad night (518) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight, http://tfl.nu/r6s4
  Replies (11) Good night (3250) Bad night (1043)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner. http://tfl.nu/pwti
  Replies (7) Good night (3422) Bad night (617) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover http://tfl.nu/cy4m
  Replies (5) Good night (3144) Bad night (1418) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again http://tfl.nu/myb5
  Replies (3) Good night (1465) Bad night (2507) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (569): View more from

  Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (569): Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain? http://tfl.nu/hx2h
  Replies (6) Good night (837) Bad night (1979) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana. http://tfl.nu/b27k
  Replies (9) Good night (2935) Bad night (710) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (951): My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room http://tfl.nu/wnm7
  Replies (26) Good night (4455) Bad night (1101) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy." http://tfl.nu/udmr
  Replies (15) Good night (1460) Bad night (455) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You're perfect

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign. (203): You're perfect http://tfl.nu/d0zl
  Replies (17) Good night (906) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging. http://tfl.nu/wawj
  Replies (4) Good night (324) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass http://tfl.nu/ww71
  Replies (3) Good night (659) Bad night (354) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out. http://tfl.nu/dhlk
  Replies (9) Good night (1541) Bad night (273) Order T-Shirt

Randomize