I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
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And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
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And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day