Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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