I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
