Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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